Quiet quitting? Try this instead!
First we had the ‘Great Resignation’. Now my feed is filled with articles about ‘quiet quitting’. Both these phenomena reflect a disengagement with our work which was there, for some of us, well before COVID-19 smacked us around.
The price of burnout, particularly amongst women in professional roles, is high and it’s real. Stepping down, or back, or out of the workforce altogether might sound like a pleasant strategy, but again, particularly for women, it’s no panacea.
TikTokkr @zkchillin described quiet quitting as “not outright quitting your job, but you’re quitting the idea of going above and beyond.”
But in workplaces where there’s a cultural expectation of “going above and beyond” — an expectation we’ve recognised and adopted in how we’ve previously shown up in our jobs — any change in our work behaviours that looks like a lessening of our commitment could see us censured, sidelined or sacked.
It’s not fair, it’s never been fair, but the reality remains that any drop in a woman’s performance is scrutinised more closely, judged more harshly, and used more quickly to stall her career or end her job. If you can’t afford and don’t want to hurt your career, ‘quiet quitting’ is unlikely to be a solution for you.
So what can an overwhelmed, overworked woman do to restore the balance in her work and her life?
Take a spoonful of the ‘quiet quitting’ medicine without swallowing the whole bottle.
Make some tea or pour some water, then step outside for 15 minutes with your drink. Fill your lungs with fresh air, then empty them. Do it again. And again. And give yourself permission to recognise that when you’re overwhelmed and clenched with stress, you’ve probably been holding your breath more often than you know.
Then give yourself some gratitude and love for how you’ve been holding things together. Give that part of you that’s worn out and ready to quit some deep compassion. Of course you’re overwhelmed! Look at everything on your plate!
Finish your drink, and then give yourself 15 more minutes. Find some paper and a pen and do a brain dump of everything that’s weighing on you, big or small, personal or professional, silly or serious. Dump it out.
You could use another cup of tea round about now. Take it back to your list, and be ready to be ruthless. Cross out ANYTHING that:
- you can do nothing about
- is not urgent in the next couple of days and will resurface by itself anyway
- will never get done so it’s silly to keep putting it on your list
- will take care of itself in time, without any intervention by you.
Now what’s left on your list?
What can you delegate to somebody else?
Who can you talk to about getting help with the things you can’t delegate?
Who can you talk to about getting help with how you’re feeling?
Let’s take three more deep, beautiful breaths.
Before you return to your list, take a few moments to sit, eyes closed, and be still in yourself with this question:
What’s most important to me in my life right now? What most deserves my attention?
Now return to your list. What absolutely MUST happen today? What would be nice but not worth killing yourself to achieve? What could wait a few days?
Once you’ve ordered your list in a way that makes most sense to you, put it to one side for another 15 minutes and rest. Your executive function has been working hard on this task, and it was probably already quite exhausted. Pacing is key. Short rests are essential. The times when you think you absolutely can’t afford to stop are the times a short stop will do you most good.
Now start on your highest priority task. Keep your gentle self-compassion and care going throughout the process, and when you’re done with it, take a mini-break and reward yourself before moving on to the next. Do not save your breaks and rewards until the whole list is done. Remember? Pacing is key.
This process is just the first step in finding some headspace to deal with your overwork and overwhelm. It’s not the whole or the only solution, but neither is quiet quitting. And replenishing yourself will give you the balance you need to work out what you need next.
Onwards, with love.
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
